Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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