eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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