omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Shame is for Republicans.
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