you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize