Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
it was like eating out sand paper
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
