yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Randomize
