How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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