shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize