so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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