she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
