Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
