Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
