i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
