8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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