from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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