So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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