Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
