god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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