Non-Jews are for practice
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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