the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
