Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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