What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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