I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize