you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
