My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
