About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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