I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
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