if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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