Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
