Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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