mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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