What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
