i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
