My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize