I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
