I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
