At least make sure they are 18
Why
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
