I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
