Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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