can u get pink eye on your cock?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
