now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
