What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
