Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize