Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
