All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
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