did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
