4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
