Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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