...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
