My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
