her vagina looked like bernie madoff
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
