All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
