We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
