fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
