This dress was meant to end up on your floor
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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