Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
