Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
