Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
