I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
