Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
