i think my tv is drunk
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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