its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
