we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
