Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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