That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize