In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
