I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Congratulations! We have a period
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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