Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
