chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
