Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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